Picky vs. Choosy

After being on the dating scene for a while, you should learn a few things. I mean, I wouldn't know, I hardly ever go on dates. However, luckily I AM literate and can read dating advice. One article struck me lately.

We all have our lists. Tall, dark, handsome, employed, rich, famous, etc. Our lists have probably evolved over the years to shape the present interests and needs in our lives at present. The article addressed these so called hit lists and aimed to help reshape them into more realistic tools rather than over the top stumbling blocks.

Lets go over terminology first.

Picky: This means you are unyielding basically. He must be a prince and if not, he just doesn't deserve you. Picky = Trouble.

Choosy: This means you stick to your morals and values when selecting a dude, but are willing to compromise on the lesser line items. Choosy = Get You One. Eventually.

The example in the book made me laugh out loud in the middle of Barnes and Nobles. The author cited a lady who had put in her personal ad that she was looking for a tall, dark haired and handsome man. She got all kinds of replies but the one that she returned the call on simply stated "I'm tall and handsome but you're gonna have to pass on the hair. Two out of three isn't bad, eh?" She married the guy in the end. She gave a little on something little like hair on top and gained her a solid man.

(Of course I thought this was funny since my main internet dating interest is lacking that the hair department as well and was quite proud of myself for being an accelerated learner and already marching forward towards the less furry men of the world. Who by the way, I have still not met nor have standing plans with at present and have made sure to let him know my patience and attention span are being tested. I'll update that front once I'm no longer in purgatory on this one.)

We girls are often too taken with what looks good on paper and not enough focused on traits such as finding someone who wins respect from us and those around him. Or someone who does little things like help clean up the kitchen or take care of his mother when duty calls.

If passions and mutual respect co align and compliment each other, the other things fall into place. Don't get hung up on details or #27 on your list. He may be a little shorter than desired, have plans to see Harry Potter at midnight this Thursday or wear the same polo, like every special occasion, but if he has your core needs, just do it. The other things grow very small in comparison.