Sleep Walking

I'm having a quarter-life crisis. And yes, I admit it, I'm a fair-weather blogger. I haven't needed this for the past few months but now I'm freaking out and my energy for optimism is fizzling. I've been feeling rather directionless the past few weeks. Each day is a bit mundane. I have no goal. No pressing project nor exciting prospects.

And then today I was sitting at lunch bragging about my upcoming summa cum laude graduating little sister and said, "Graduation is only two month away," with a bit of sadness. Then I realized today is April 1st. Graduation is a mere month and some little days away. My sister is leaving me. As she should- but I have no reason to stay here without her.

So, I've got to find something to do with my life but in this downward slope of mine I have no positive outlook or drive to run after new lives. Its just all so exhausting and I'm already sleeping through my alarm in the mornings for a solid hour.

And I wasn't joking about London by the way. I applied for a program over there (some days I have a little spark inside myself). But I don't find out about that for a while so I'm just waiting. waiting. always waiting.

I need some encouragement. I need a change of scenes. I need a housemate so I don't have to seek company by setting up for the evening to read at Barnes and Noble and then having a Westside Story style (never seen it) fight literally play out 6 feet in front of me. The live unedited version complete with f-bombs, the loudest 20 year old woman you have ever experienced and the police.

I mostly need a nap I guess so thanks for coming back and reading. I can't believe you all still wanted to check in with me. That does make me smile. For real.