Newsflash!

Date with Harry tomorrow! Hmmmm... will this or won't this give me some spark action?

Who knows?! Ahhhh... The joys of dating!!!

The Fabulous Single Life

Lately I've tried looking around my life, seeing what is only reality to me because of my fabulous single life. So much of who we are is defined by who we are with, especially when it comes to relationships.

Here are a couple of things I revel in during these crazy awesome single days:

• I can sleep so late. Work mornings I sleep until 7:52 (after an hour of playing cat and mouse with the alarm clock) and drag my butt into the office right before 9:00 a.m. Weekends... no kiddies needing attention or hubbies rustling the sheets. Ahhhh.... peaceful, perfect sleep.
  
  
• I don't have to share. My shampoo is my shampoo. My TV is my TV. I can buy the expensive coffee because it will last forever anyway. No one is helping themselves to my food. Its all about me around my house. Because I'm the only one who lives here.
  
  
• I pee with the door open.
  
  
• No extra messes.
  
  
• If I feel like leaving the house at midnight for who knows what reason, I can do it. No questions asked or explanations needed. If I want to work late, whoo hoo, I go for it. No late carpools, pissy hubbies w/o dinner. Its drive thru night!
  
  
• I don't have to come home at all actually.
  
  
• I can sit on the couch all night. No moving required.
  
  
• No one makes fun of me or disturbs my aura during yoga.
  
  
• People take care of me. Since I don't have one designated man to look out for my protection and honor, I have a whole man-army cohesively doing so.
  
  
• Clothing is optional. I mean, at home.
  
  
• I can flirt as much as I want. Yeah baby.

Ha, I'm feeling pretty good about my life now. Sure, there's down sides but the positives are pretty good and I want to make sure I don't miss out on anything during this period of my life and am thankful for each open-doored pee. I mean, come on, it could get claustrophobic in there.

Kisses!

And then We Met.

The Setting:

Me and Work Hubby riding to Lunch.

***

The Conversation:

Me: I had a first date last night. (With Harry)

Hubby: You're always doing something.

Me: Whatever, that was my first date in like 10 years.

Hubby: Hmph.

Me: I don't think I like him.

Hubby: Well, you never like anyone.

Me: Yeah, I know.

***

In my defense:

If I had liked someone so far, hopefully I would be with them. Just because I haven't fallen for anyone in a while (that likes me back and does something about it) doesn't mean I'm completely unpleaseable. And come on, it was the very first date product of online dating, how often does that one sweep you off your feet? You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you lay down the law and tell froggie #1928 that he better turn prince or you're out. (just kidding, I will never use the ultimatum tactic.)

***

Now What?:

I am considering seeing him again. I mean, it was far from awful, he was nice, courteous and even borderline funny. I just didn't feel the attraction vibe. And he made me talk to the hostess (bc he was scared). And I had to plan the whole thing and practically talk him into coming.

***

The Silver Lining:

I met a drummer at the beach who may or may not be gay but he plays gigs around my area and is pretty fun and way cute when on stage. We have become friends (its on facebook so its official) and he wants me to come to one of his shows soon. I love being with the band! Who knows what will happen or who I will meet!

***

The Conclusion:

So basically ladies, when one mans disappoints, give him at least one more try and know there are plenty more fishies and good times in the sea!!!

Picky vs. Choosy

After being on the dating scene for a while, you should learn a few things. I mean, I wouldn't know, I hardly ever go on dates. However, luckily I AM literate and can read dating advice. One article struck me lately.

We all have our lists. Tall, dark, handsome, employed, rich, famous, etc. Our lists have probably evolved over the years to shape the present interests and needs in our lives at present. The article addressed these so called hit lists and aimed to help reshape them into more realistic tools rather than over the top stumbling blocks.

Lets go over terminology first.

Picky: This means you are unyielding basically. He must be a prince and if not, he just doesn't deserve you. Picky = Trouble.

Choosy: This means you stick to your morals and values when selecting a dude, but are willing to compromise on the lesser line items. Choosy = Get You One. Eventually.

The example in the book made me laugh out loud in the middle of Barnes and Nobles. The author cited a lady who had put in her personal ad that she was looking for a tall, dark haired and handsome man. She got all kinds of replies but the one that she returned the call on simply stated "I'm tall and handsome but you're gonna have to pass on the hair. Two out of three isn't bad, eh?" She married the guy in the end. She gave a little on something little like hair on top and gained her a solid man.

(Of course I thought this was funny since my main internet dating interest is lacking that the hair department as well and was quite proud of myself for being an accelerated learner and already marching forward towards the less furry men of the world. Who by the way, I have still not met nor have standing plans with at present and have made sure to let him know my patience and attention span are being tested. I'll update that front once I'm no longer in purgatory on this one.)

We girls are often too taken with what looks good on paper and not enough focused on traits such as finding someone who wins respect from us and those around him. Or someone who does little things like help clean up the kitchen or take care of his mother when duty calls.

If passions and mutual respect co align and compliment each other, the other things fall into place. Don't get hung up on details or #27 on your list. He may be a little shorter than desired, have plans to see Harry Potter at midnight this Thursday or wear the same polo, like every special occasion, but if he has your core needs, just do it. The other things grow very small in comparison.

Forget the Bars. I Found the Sweet Spot.

I discovered a new way to pick up guys.

See, my home is old. Thus, I have no dishwasher. Thus, I bought a portable one. Thus, I couldn't EVER get it to hook up to my sink. Well, my dad visited, busted my faucet trying to make it work, and my realty center replaced it. And bam, I had the exact faucet head I needed.

Just missing one little part.

So, I had come home from work, discovered my new faucet, stuck on my cute little purple nike shorts and bee-bopped around the house for a while. The decided to run some errands and try and get my little part to put my personal dish washing days behind me. So, I dropped by Home Depot with my little part in hand, glasses on and hair mussed. And still wearing sequin necked shirt and chandelier earrings left over from work. Not a bad outfit.

So, I walk around clueless in the enormous shopping mall for men and some how find my way to plumbing and start playing around with nipples and joints and washers. I knew my efforts were rather fruitless, but I was just killing time until I stumbled upon a helpful hand. Well, Jose was looking at parts next to me (he enjoys working in his garden after work) and looked at me and said "Wrong size." Then he plucked my piece right out of my hand and started looking for the correct solution to my dishwasher woes. Soon, we were out of options and he only had questions about where I lived and worked. I had to move on.

So, I found an orange aproned man on the next aisle and replied to the negative when he asked me if I was finding everything I needed and shortly had him on his hands and knees finding my correct adapter. I told him what I was doing and he asked, "Are you doing this by yourself?"

"Yes." I replied to the ringless 30 something handyman. Little did I know, that little word must have sparked a fire within his soul.

Seated on the floor beside him, he finally handed me my adapter of choice declaring, "This is what you need."

"Ok," I replied, "Do you promise?" I've had no dishwasher for 6 months. I needed confirmation.

"Yes. But, I'll tell you what, if it doesn't work, you bring it back here, and I'll buy you dinner."

What!!!

But I laughed and said, "Oh, so then I won't have to do the dishes?"

He continued, "If it does work, you can buy me dinner. See, it works out good for you either way."

I continued to laugh it off but he threw out his offer a couple more times and I realized he was being serious. I thanked him for his help and asked him his name (so he wouldn't feel completely rejected of course since I was not about to agree to dinner in the faucet aisle), told him mine and headed out the store.

"I work afternoons and evenings. Just come by and see me." He called after my purple shorts.

I smiled the whole way too my car. Thank goodness for self-checkout so I didn't have to look like an idiot in front of the cashier.

So hey, I think I got asked out on a date for tomorrow night. Within like 5 minutes of meeting guy. I am so hitting up the Hardware Stores more often!!!

I just watched Confessions of Shopaholic. Rebbecca, Isla Fisher's character, has a great relationship with her roommate. They are best friends, understand each other and take care of each other. Then her roommate gets engaged. I couldn't help but almost be brought to tears at what that meant for their friendship. The storyline goes nowhere near that topic but all I could think about was how their friendship, living situation and lives would never be the same.

In my life, I have seen so many people get married. And everything changes. I remember at my sister's wedding I gave my maid of honor speech and told her husband she was more his now than mine. Right I was. She lives a couple thousand miles away from me now and they are living their lives. I was maid of honor in one other wedding and the bride now lives on the opposite coast from me. Another close friend of mine recently got engaged and now our weekly dinners and weekend ventures are not so weekly.

Other people's love has taken my friends so far away from me. Why do I even chase it? I should be mad at love with its blinding tactics and status-quo modifications. I should be mad at it for taking my friends away from me. But there is no way I could be. I'm so happy for my friends.

Love is crazy like that. It can swoop in, churn up homes, jobs, styles, patterns and tastes and we welcome it. We relish in it. I think we all long for something to come in and change life as we know it in exchange for something wonderful. Seeing other people go through it simply makes me see that it is possible. Even if they move across the country (or out of it) and find better things to do than drink 2 for 1 margaritas with me.

I'm not saying its ok to ditch your friends for a significant other. Friends are essential to a happy life. But, you would be in denial if you said marriage does not change friendship. So why do we want love so much? Because that's simply the kind of creatures we are. We are made to love. And what better love can be found that with someone you decide to be your partner through thick and thin for the rest of your life.

Third Base

Things with Harry are progressing. We email everyday. We chatted until 1 a.m. the other night. Oh, remember how I said if mid-week things hadn't moved forward I was going to say something? Well, a few days ago, he asked me if we could do a phone call and I freaked! I said I wanted to but not yet.

So, yesterday, I gave him my number. Ha! No call yet though. Plenty of emails though. Here's a couple things I've learned about him in the past week:

• He owns his house (I'm guessing its a 3/2)
• He plants flowers and such. And keeps them alive.
• Hes the oldest of 3
• He likes photography
• He is right handed

So, I mean, we are at like 3rd base of the pre-meet in this online dating world I would say. But, I'm afraid some of my opinionation and unyieldingness seeped through a bit. He asked me when the last time I went to an amusement park was. Well, since I'm so sharp (and over-analytic) I decided he was feeling me out of possibly taking me to one. So, yet again, I freaked.

Who the heck wants to go to an amusement park for their first meet and greet? I mean, I love them and all, just as much as the next 5 year old, but come on, who can keep up their cuteness at one of those places, especially in July. I had visions of getting partially wet and walking around yanking shorts out of my butt, my hair getting sweaty and fuzzy and mascara seeping all over my face. I mean, I just can't go there. What do you talk about when standing in one of those dreaded lines for an hour when you're pretty much miserable and bored anyway and feeling like cattle? Am I wrong or is that like the worst date on earth to go on with a stranger?

So, I shut him down. I said, "Um, like 2 yrs ago or something. Can't stand the lines." (notice how I couldn't even be bothered to spell out years). So now I'm worried he knows I'm over analytic, up-tight and melt in the heat. Yup, I'm totally reeling him in.