Sunday, May 16, 2010

Here Again.

Here I am again. Unsure. Disappointed. Sad.

We broke-up. He's so mad/sad/angry/confused/scared right now. This all just seems surreal right now.

I felt so sad. We were happy sometimes but I've been in this place lately where our relationship was not what I wanted. My energy to drive two hours to see him was drained. My excitement for our weekends was nothing compared to the beginning. It was like another area of my life to juggle- not something enhancing it.

We got in a fight last night over dinner and I just couldn't do it anymore. It was an awful end to the evening. And he had to drive the two hours home after it. My sister is staying with me post-graduation right now so all of this happened with her in my house witnessing our tear stained faces when we came home, him getting his bag and leaving. And I'm still here, cooking, cleaning, walking the dog and being the strong one, acting like my life isn't completely upside down.