When being single, 20 something, in a city with no family and living alone, (and being charming as I totally am doesn't hurt) the surrounding random men begin to sort of "take ownership" of my well being. Whether I like it or not.
For example, the old retired, eccentric man that lives across the street from me picks up all the sticks from my yard and pulls my trash to the curb each week. Kinda weird when he goes through my trash but I just look on the bright side (no touching dirty trash cans) and move on.
At work though, it gets a little deeper since that's where I spend the majority of my time. After a while, you get to know people and they get to know you. Well, I think I may have eluded to At Work Hubby before. He is a cute decade or so older than me divorced dude living his own single and fabulous life. He's charming and flirty and so even though he has a son my little sisters age, I enjoy our witty exchanges. We occasionally have lunch together and crash each other's offices to complain to each other about our day, issues or personal lives. He brings me snacks from meetings, lifts my heavy boxes and calls me when we work late to poke at me. He's pretty cool but best left as a friend (a point I make plenty clear) but he has decided that nobody else better be my friend like he is.
Well, another guy, Super Hero, took a liking to me from the beginning. He is married with 2 cute little boys and is in his 30s. However, he continues to bring me little goodies, drops by to talk, brings be Starbucks, changed my tire when he found out it was airless, gets worried about me and calls me to see if I'm ok and even gave me flowers on my birthday.
Sometimes Super Hero makes me a little nervous in that he is married and is so dang nice to me. So, what else should I do but talk to At Work Hubby about it for the male point of view. Well, At Work Hubby has gotten pretty dang jealous of Super Hero. Super Hero is just through the roof with his thoughtfulness, speediness and resourcefulness and even though Hubby I actually consider a friend, which gives him the best position, he can't stand me having a Super Hero in my life.
So, Super Hero and I have been working on this huge project together lately. Well, poor Hubby has to walk past my door to go to the elevator, bathroom, exit, etc., but mostly the bathroom. So here are Super Hero and I, huddled up in my office over our project for hours and hours while poor Hubby walks by for his morning, noon, afternoon, mid-afternoon pee only to see us laughing eating, drinking and being merry while chipping away at our task at hand.
Well, Hubby got onto me one afternoon (I mean, what is this? He totally takes this hubby thing seriously) picking on me about hanging with Super so much. Despite my many explanations, he got all pissy and pouty of course leading me to lecture him on how he needed to get his own life and quit worrying about mine.
So, the next day, Super and I are finishing up our project when here comes Hubby for his morning pee. Well, this time, rather than passing by, Hubby decides to take a new route and comes into my office and proceeds to put on a beautiful act of shaking hands with Super, patting backs, throwing around "How YOU doin?s" and playing catch up like old friends. (How many times did he see the back of his head yesterday while going to the bathroom) So I sit there while Hubby thoroughly enjoys his new found way to crash our "party."
Finally after all the, "Hows the WIFE" and "How're the BOYS, a.k.a. your CHILDREN" I tell hubby he is going to pee his pants if he gets anymore excited about catching up with Super and that he better get on his ridiculous way to the bathroom so we can finish our project.
They nervously laugh and hubby leaves to go pee.
Little boys and their little battles. Hubby should have just invited Super to go play swords if he wants to fight about it.