And then today I was sitting at lunch bragging about my upcoming summa cum laude graduating little sister and said, "Graduation is only two month away," with a bit of sadness. Then I realized today is April 1st. Graduation is a mere month and some little days away. My sister is leaving me. As she should- but I have no reason to stay here without her.
So, I've got to find something to do with my life but in this downward slope of mine I have no positive outlook or drive to run after new lives. Its just all so exhausting and I'm already sleeping through my alarm in the mornings for a solid hour.
And I wasn't joking about London by the way. I applied for a program over there (some days I have a little spark inside myself). But I don't find out about that for a while so I'm just waiting. waiting. always waiting.
I need some encouragement. I need a change of scenes. I need a housemate so I don't have to seek company by setting up for the evening to read at Barnes and Noble and then having a Westside Story style (never seen it) fight literally play out 6 feet in front of me. The live unedited version complete with f-bombs, the loudest 20 year old woman you have ever experienced and the police.
I mostly need a nap I guess so thanks for coming back and reading. I can't believe you all still wanted to check in with me. That does make me smile. For real.