Sometimes I don't suck at this

I usually feel like the worst christian ever.

I:

• am a flirt
• kiss boys
• drink alcohol
• love clothes
• judge people
• love to go out
• am always late for church
• am self absorbed
• recognize when people are douche bags
• tell people when they are douche bags
• blog about people when they are douche bags (can't remember if that has happened yet.. but it will.)

So, I feel rather fallen at times and frustrated with myself. Why must I bat my eyes so much when a guy is just so darn cute and single? Surely real christian chicks would never do that. They can woo men with their subliminal purity and wholenessness.

Why do I crave the faint smell of cigarette smoke, darkness and crowdedness of bars? If I didn't frequent those places I could probably refrain from explaining to the people I meet there exactly why they are a douche bag and just how to go about fixing their douche-related problem.

Recently I have hung out with several people who are not christians. I have several awesome friends who do not believe and just acknowledge that we differ on some aspects but are bottom line simply my friend.

With two of my friends recently on separate occasions my "sex life" has come up. The conversations though on different days went basically the same.

"So, you and Mr. Nice Guy never did it?"

"No."

"I mean, like not a little bit?"

"What does that even mean?"

"Ok, how long were you together?"

"Three years."

"And you never DID IT??

"Nooooo."

"Didn't you want to?"

"Sure, sometimes. But you don't always do what you want. We are waiting."

"That's kinda cool. I wish I could be like that."

That was just about the coolest thing that could have come of that conversation. I actually became a little proud of myself. The more flamboyant of my friends began telling me how I was an absolute vixen (I had to request the definition for that... no one has ever called me that before and wanted to know exactly what she meant by this) and that I gave off an aura of something or another. Not so sure if I am supposed be proud of this second part of the conversation since the only definition for vixen was vixen which is the most annoying variety of a response when requesting an explanation.

People have also been trying to set me up on blind dates recently. I've tried to be open to possibilities but I haven't been able to get past the fact that I simply cannot go on a date with someone without knowing if they are a christian or not.

So, this is how I decided to approach it the other day.

Friend's boyfriend: "You should meet my roommate. He's single and I think you would like him."

Me: "Sweet. Is he hot?"

Friend's boyfriend: "The girls think so."

Me: "Well, I'm probably not interested."

Friend's boyfriend: "What?"

Me: "I'm not having sex till I'm married" (fyi, I am basically screaming this since we are at a restaurant in a party of 15 in a crowded inner city sports bar"

Friend's boyfriend: "Ooook"

Then one of my friends told me about how innocent all my friends are. Dang, we just attend church and keep our pants on. We are people too.

So, the moral of the story is I am actually a little encouraged from seeing my life through other peoples eyes in that a) I'm actually not doing everything in the world wrong and b) two of my friends that need a little inspiration saw it in me.

Maybe I can keep the list!