At approximately 9:30 p.m. I started shaking. It wasn't too bad for the most part of the morning. I conducted business as normal. Every time I looked at the clock though I got butterflies in my stomach... and not the fun kind.
At 11:20 my shaking bumped up to about 90 miles an hour. I must have burned off the entire grande mocha and 1/2 wheat bagel I ate for breakfast in the next 40 minutes of violent trembling. I shook all the way from my office to the bathroom and managed to break my name badge and hair clip in that brief excursion from the inconsistent pressures ejecting from my finger tips.
I headed out of the building and made it to the restaurant without wrecking my car or forgetting where I was going. I did my best "walk like a superstar" strut into the restaurant just in case he was watching me. The Beautiful One was ready and waiting for me like a perfect gentleman at the front of the place and already had a table. Once seated I tried to adjust my notebook on the table and the obviousness of my shaking was so embarrassing I just sat with my hands in my lap and didn't even attempt to open the menu to read it. I didn't drink my drink. I didn't talk with my hands. I sat like a still freak so I wouldn't prove I was actually a real freak.
I think I actually didn't look at anything but his face the entire lunch. I couldn't eat my food. Who can eat when your nerves have totally consumed any thoughts of ever enjoying food in your life?
I couldn't tell you what he ordered. I couldn't tell you if he ate his food. I don't actually remember him lifting a fork to his mouth. The waiter did take his plate long before mine, I wonder if he inhaled it? How rude.
I can tell you he was growing some facial hair. I can tell you exactly how his hair is cut. I can tell you exactly how the skin transitions from his neck to his chin. I can tell you all about his eyes and mouth.
Oh, and I can tell you from the first time he said "we" I was in denial. I told myself the "we" was a friendly non-threatening male roommate or best friend. Well, that theory was smashed in my completely full plate of food when he told me his wedding is in 24 days.
Why the heck are we having lunch!!??!!
I guess because he is borderline perfect and actually cares about his job and his clients and people he meets in the business world. And because I'm a cool chic that any perfect business guy would enjoy lunch with. I guess the other ones do ask me to lunch and I just turn them down on account of their not so stare worthy faces and very chubby neck to chin transitions.
Naturally, I pouted the rest of the day.
But I did end up pulling off the lunch beautifully. The shakes subsided after the first ten minutes and I did manage to eat like 1/8 of my meal. My charm bubbled up and we clicked like the first meeting day and I made jokes, flipped hair and we discussed our 20 something hopes and dreams.
So, The Beautiful One walked away having paid for my wasted lunch, reminding me not to be a stranger and thanking me for coming all the way out to see him. I still think it was an odd random invitation but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
And really freaking hungry mid-afternoon.